So chances are that if you are a twenty something in this day and age, you have heard of the popular dating app Tinder. If you by some odd chance haven’t, Tinder is an app that let’s you “speed date” through a series of matches provided for you based on your location and preferences. You can only see who matches with you if you “like” them as well. This prevents creepy strangers from harassing you via direct message.
Tinder? Erm – Sure I Guess
I started using the app a few months after a break up to get back onto the dating scene. I was a relatively late (and skeptical) adopter, and at that point, had heard several Tinder stories that weren’t exactly “promising” in the find-your-soulmate department. However, I pressed on in the hopes that I would have better luck than some of my friends.
I matched with a few people right off of the bat and I was in business! I quickly learned that there are both complete D-Bags on Tinder that would love for me to send them boob pictures in the first five minutes of our encounter, as well as super sweet gentleman that really did want to get to know me.
With Tinder you truly get them all, you just have to be good at weeding out the bad seeds.
Word of Advice: Go with your gut. If he sounds sketchy he probably is sketchy. DO NOT meet anyone at their homes for the first few dates or let them come to yours. I don’t care how charming they are. It’s just not worth it lady!
Did I Find a Relationship from Tinder?
Long story short, I have been on some amazing dates over the last two years and have even found a long term boyfriend from Tinder (we aren’t together anymore but still remain great friends). It can be a really great experience for you if you avoid trying to match with people just because they’re sexy. If you focus on their personality you are a lot more likely to find a great guy that is right for you!
All of this being said, there are a few things that I learned from Tinder that I think every twenty something girl should know:
1. You Are a Hot Commodity
Before Tinder, I was completely guilty of sometimes forgetting just how much of a catch I am. It can be easy to get caught up in the hotness of someone out in the real world that you feel is “out of your league” and forget about your own hotness. You ARE the complete package and don’t you forget it!
With Tinder you not only get the validation of matching with a multitude of sexy guys, but you get the sometimes needed reminder that people really are interested in you and think you’re pretty.
The Bottom Line
All too many times I have seen those close to me getting hung up on dating someone that well – at the end of the day isn’t that great. Why? Because my friends feel like decent guys are few and far between. Tinder shatters that false reality and proves that there SO many amazing people out there waiting to meet them and potentially fall in love.
When new potential relationships are a scarcity it makes sense to want to hold onto the less than stellar one that you have. Get rid of this mind set! When new potential relationships are abundant, there is nothing to stop you from finding the perfect one!
2. Go With Your Gut
When I got caught up talking to a cute guy on Tinder it was easy to overlook a few potential red flags here and there. Because I mean call me shallow, but who doesn’t want to date a sexy man that they would love to be seen with?
I used to have two speeds: overly critical, or let’s brush this under the rug for a few dates to see if it works out. Neither were particularly great. Tinder taught me to call a spade for a spade. If he talks about himself the entire first date, he will more than likely do that for the duration of the relationship *shudder*.
Be honest with yourself about what you like and don’t like. If your gut is telling you that something is off, there is. It doesn’t matter if you are able to point it out immediately or not.
The Bottom Line
Don’t ignore potential warning signs just because you have always wanted a hot boyfriend and one is currently interested in you. On the surface this sounds like a “duh Marie I’m not that shallow” no brainer, but when you’re out in the thick of it, it can be much easier to overlook than you think. Stay smart and stay true to yourself at all times!
3. You Are in Control of the Situation
I’m not sure if any of you have ever felt this way, but in dating it sometimes feels as if the other person is in control. It can be hard not to worry if the other person shares the same feelings as you, could see themselves dating you, etc.
While you can’t control what the other person is thinking and feeling, YOU are the one that is in control of the situation. Why should you worry about what they are thinking? They are wondering how YOU feel about dating THEM.
You are the complete package of amazing-ness. I’m not even kidding. If they can’t see how lucky they would be to date you, then kick their ass to the curb. I don’t care how cute they are, because trust me, you will find someone cuter that appreciates you!
The Bottom Line
If you adopt and keep this mind set, not only will you be in control of the situation, you will end up with someone that truly appreciates and cares about you. Aaaand as an added bonus you will be even MORE attractive to the other person. Confidence is sexy. End of story.
Who Knows? You Could Meet Your Husband.
Tinder gets a bad rep for being a hookup site. Tinder is what you make of it. If you want to use it to hook up with random hot guys, go for it. If you want to use it to go on fun casual dates that could lead to a potential relationship, do it.
Either way you want to play the field is fine. Just remember to follow your heart, keep your wits about you, and have fun! I have learned several great things about myself and dating in general from Tinder and with the right mind set, you can too!
Bonus anecdote that might give you even more hope: One of my best friends met her fiancee on Tinder last year and they’re getting married next summer! Stranger things have happened!